Movie adaptations of fighting video games are epically moronic. It is for that very reason why some fat rich nimrod thought it was a great idea to fund a movie which is based on a Neo Geo game. Enter: "King of Fighters"
"King of Fighters" will join the prestigious group of fantastic masterpieces such as "Mortal Kombat" "Street Fighter" and the most recent awesomeness "Tekken".
Really guys? whats next, "Killer Instinct"? (wait...that could be cool...)
Today I saw the trailer for "King of Fighters" and I thought to myself: I finally have my answer to "how much bullshit can one cram into 2 minutes?"
the answer is: Alot.
Lets watch the trailer shall we?
First of all who the hell is "acclaimed action director Gordon Chan"? OOOHH, right! hes the guy who has directed blockbusters such as "Lou she oi sheung mao" and "Shen tan Ma Ru-Long" or better known in America as "Cat and Mouse" and "Inspector Pink Dragon".
No, I am not shitting you.
Bitch please, "acclaimed action director"? are you quoting his step mom or something? Fuck you, trailer man - im not falling for your bull shit.
Then they list a bunch of names as if we should know who the hell they are. They most likely made some garbage up...except the last guy they list, who is obviously their star: Ray Park. Holy ass clowns, Ray Park?! These mudda fuzzas got Darth Maul up in dis bitch?
Great, so we got Ray Park playing himself in this god forsaken shit fest.
This is beginning to look like "acclaimed action director" Gordon Chode was Ray Parks neighbor who bothered him about making a movie, so they wrote a movie around Ray Park.
But I am getting ahead of myself, lets start from the beginning of the trailer shall we?
"They Live among us, living normal lives until called upon into another dimension..." (shot of a Jawbone Bluetooth Headset)
By a god damn bluetooth headset?! Well fuck me sideways. I better leave work early today and pick up my Jawbone Bluetooth alternate dimension device at Best Buy.
So already, less than 2 seconds into the trailer, im treated like an idiot. Great. OH! queue "Batman Begins" music, so I think this movie is EPIC. yep, you got me fooled. Lets continue...
"Where an eliete group of fighters compete..."
For what? your showing me 2 guys fighting in an abandoned warehouse...You dont need to travel to a different dimension to fight in a abandoned warehouse dude.
"But when a rouge fighter doesnt play by the rules..."
UH OH!! "the rouge fighter" aka Ray Park with a scarf..
Again, Play by the rules? whos implementing these so called rules? that cement pillar in the background, or the hard wood floor?. I donno, maybe its all an honor system.
"His thirst for power threatens to destroy the universe..."
Holy shit! really? the ENTIRE universe?! I can hear cries of hope echoing from the Andromeda galaxy. Cause once Ray Park destroys Ryan Sea-crest and the woman in a G-String, his power shall destroy the infinite void we know as "the universe". Well now im REALLY hooked on this trailer, and its only been 36 seconds.
Wait what? Elite fighters fight with trash bags and aluminum garbage cans?! what kind of dimension is this....
"The fate of the world, will be in their hands..."
Well thank god their hands shoot plasma rays and force fields, shit. and isn't "the fate of the world" an understatement? or do we not care about the rest of the fucking universe?
oh wait....I just saw a flaming sword being thrown....We all good now.
See you at the midnight showing.
Monday
Godzilla Haikus
http://godzillahaiku.tumblr.com/
As a big fan of Godzilla, I couldn't get enough of this website.
this is one of my favorite ones:
As a big fan of Godzilla, I couldn't get enough of this website.
this is one of my favorite ones:
Thursday
Friday
FotoShop Fry-Day
Drew and I believe that Kim Jon Ill and Lil Wayne are the same person...
Here are some photos I made to prove this point.
Have a good weekend.
//spm
Here are some photos I made to prove this point.
Have a good weekend.
//spm
Thursday
The Shirt has arrived...
A fellow friend and co-worker asked me to draw a cute bunny farting, for his band, called "Footstone". They came out awesome!
For someone who draws creepy dead things all the time, Im proud of how god damn cute my bunny is ;)
Tuesday
Friday
Thursday
Top 5 new bands I discovered in 2009
Ah yes. The infamous title "Post-Rock" which is rejected by the masses, set a standard for the genre in the 90's. It seems as if the movement was in its prime at the turn of the century. Why stop now? I don't listen to much Post-Rock, but the few that I listen to is some of the greatest bands in my list of musical genius. So after 2009, Here are top 5 bands I want to keep an eye on:
5. Beirut - I start the list off with a band that isnt instrumental, or even post-rock, rather, heavy in Balkan Folk and indie-rock. It isnt music I can listen to for long periods of time, but they are very talented none the less.
4. From Monument to Masses - Influenced by God Speed You! Black Emperor and DJ Shadow. How do you go wrong with that? Their most recent album which came out at the beginning of 09 was great.
3. French Teen Idol - Roman artist Andrea Di Carlo, is influenced by bands such as M83, God Is An Astronaut, an Sigur Ros. And you can tell. His music is epic melon-collie. I dont know if that makes sense, but I just coined that. He released "El Siete Es La Luz" last June.
2. Animals as Leaders - Instrumental Progressive Metal Band. Seriously, what part of that is bad? I dont know. Their first self titled album came out last year, and it is sweeeet.
1. Caspian - Ah yes. And then there is Caspian. there 2009 album "Tertia" blew me away. Unbelieveable music. the song "Raven" is fantastic. how fitting they named it...Raven.
They are on their way to the top on my favorite bands list, real fast.
If you dont know any of these bands, and like the type of Post-Rock Instrumental music that I do. These are 4 bands you need to get acquainted with, in 2010.
The beginning is the end is the beginning.
//spm
5. Beirut - I start the list off with a band that isnt instrumental, or even post-rock, rather, heavy in Balkan Folk and indie-rock. It isnt music I can listen to for long periods of time, but they are very talented none the less.
4. From Monument to Masses - Influenced by God Speed You! Black Emperor and DJ Shadow. How do you go wrong with that? Their most recent album which came out at the beginning of 09 was great.
3. French Teen Idol - Roman artist Andrea Di Carlo, is influenced by bands such as M83, God Is An Astronaut, an Sigur Ros. And you can tell. His music is epic melon-collie. I dont know if that makes sense, but I just coined that. He released "El Siete Es La Luz" last June.
2. Animals as Leaders - Instrumental Progressive Metal Band. Seriously, what part of that is bad? I dont know. Their first self titled album came out last year, and it is sweeeet.
1. Caspian - Ah yes. And then there is Caspian. there 2009 album "Tertia" blew me away. Unbelieveable music. the song "Raven" is fantastic. how fitting they named it...Raven.
They are on their way to the top on my favorite bands list, real fast.
If you dont know any of these bands, and like the type of Post-Rock Instrumental music that I do. These are 4 bands you need to get acquainted with, in 2010.
The beginning is the end is the beginning.
//spm
Friday
This is where we put the word "twenty" in front of everything, for the rest of our lives.
When the world went Y2k, I was entering high school. Wasn't old enough to drive. Never had a girlfriend.
today I am 3 years out of college and 2 years into my profession. I am hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. I spend too much money on my car and I am 30 lbs overweight.
Welcome. 2010.
//spm
today I am 3 years out of college and 2 years into my profession. I am hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. I spend too much money on my car and I am 30 lbs overweight.
Welcome. 2010.
//spm
I present to the world: The Cheesy Chalupa Crunch
Today was the day, I felt I needed to re-write history. After months of blue prints, schematics and prototypes, I felt that this revolutionary idea could be brought to life.
But what institution would take my project seriously? None other than the Broadway ave. Taco Bell in Minneapolis Minnesota. That is right. I would be lying if I said it was not a challenge to bring this to life, but the team came through in the end.
My journey started by explaining by design to Angelica, the Shift leader who at the time, was operating the main register. Seeing how it was very busy, and I did not want my prototype stolen, I had to be rather quiet about this Top Secret phenomenon that I held in my head. What made things more difficult, was that Angelica did not speak English very well. This was something I had anticipated, seeing how the native language of this art is Spanish. But I was not worried yet - I knew that in the end, we had similar goals in mind, and genius is universal.
After a bit of a muted struggle of explanation, Angelica finally relayed the request to the T-Bell engineers in back. All of it was in Spanish, so I cant be sure what she was saying. Maybe, explaining how brilliant of an idea I had? Maybe, Her doubt in taking on such an enormous project? or maybe explaining to everyone how much of an ass hole she thinks I am. Whatever the case, The workers began working their magic.
Although there were many people in line behind me, everyone seemed to get their order before me. This did not surprise me - because the enormous job I had just put in front of them. This eased my anxiety as well, because I did not want anyone to see the blueprint of my design. And im sure they felt the same way. As I watched Martina go over the design and begin to construct this monolith of greatness - I was disappointed to see that some pivotal design elements were lost in translation. Once Martina came over to me with the completed design, I very quietly explained that, she had done it all wrong - and explained that the shells she was using did not match my design. She knew right away what I was looking for and had the project done in half the time I expected.
So ladies and gentlemen, I present to you on this Friday, December 11, 2009:
The First Cheesy Chalupa Crunch
But what institution would take my project seriously? None other than the Broadway ave. Taco Bell in Minneapolis Minnesota. That is right. I would be lying if I said it was not a challenge to bring this to life, but the team came through in the end.
My journey started by explaining by design to Angelica, the Shift leader who at the time, was operating the main register. Seeing how it was very busy, and I did not want my prototype stolen, I had to be rather quiet about this Top Secret phenomenon that I held in my head. What made things more difficult, was that Angelica did not speak English very well. This was something I had anticipated, seeing how the native language of this art is Spanish. But I was not worried yet - I knew that in the end, we had similar goals in mind, and genius is universal.
After a bit of a muted struggle of explanation, Angelica finally relayed the request to the T-Bell engineers in back. All of it was in Spanish, so I cant be sure what she was saying. Maybe, explaining how brilliant of an idea I had? Maybe, Her doubt in taking on such an enormous project? or maybe explaining to everyone how much of an ass hole she thinks I am. Whatever the case, The workers began working their magic.
Although there were many people in line behind me, everyone seemed to get their order before me. This did not surprise me - because the enormous job I had just put in front of them. This eased my anxiety as well, because I did not want anyone to see the blueprint of my design. And im sure they felt the same way. As I watched Martina go over the design and begin to construct this monolith of greatness - I was disappointed to see that some pivotal design elements were lost in translation. Once Martina came over to me with the completed design, I very quietly explained that, she had done it all wrong - and explained that the shells she was using did not match my design. She knew right away what I was looking for and had the project done in half the time I expected.
So ladies and gentlemen, I present to you on this Friday, December 11, 2009:
The First Cheesy Chalupa Crunch
Thursday
Nontopie completed...for now.
So this took me a fairly long time to make. it was something I worked on little by little during the work day. It started out as a pencil sketch, then I decided to draw it on the wacom in high detail, then added some value. and thus, the nontopie was born.
//spm
James Cameron hasnt known quality for 15 years
Fuck James Cameron and his Papyrus loving Live Action Furn Gully.
Ric Agrees
Ike Agrees
Ric Agrees
Ike Agrees
Wednesday
The smell of desperation.
Hey look everyone! look over here! please! we look like an apple store, but were not! we are a half-assed version.Have questions about our shitty operating system? sorry! were too busy dancing....and well be doing this all day!
jesus christ people. Do yourselves a favor, and go buy a Mac.
jesus christ people. Do yourselves a favor, and go buy a Mac.
Friday
Thursday
Monday
Rap Music Causes Breast Cancer.
The title has nothing to do with this awesome video. Its just a great quote I heard at work today.
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