SPM Mix Tape

A Humble Review of a 2 Minute Shit Fest

2010-04-15T13:38:00.000-07:00

Movie adaptations of fighting video games are epically moronic. It is for that very reason why some fat rich nimrod thought it was a great idea to fund a movie which is based on a Neo Geo game. Enter: "King of Fighters"
"King of Fighters" will join the prestigious group of fantastic masterpieces such as "Mortal Kombat" "Street Fighter" and the most recent awesomeness "Tekken".
Really guys? whats next, "Killer Instinct"? (wait...that could be cool...)

Today I saw the trailer for "King of Fighters" and I thought to myself: I finally have my answer to "how much bullshit can one cram into 2 minutes?"

the answer is: Alot.

Lets watch the trailer shall we?
First of all who the hell is "acclaimed action director Gordon Chan"? OOOHH, right! hes the guy who has directed blockbusters such as "Lou she oi sheung mao" and "Shen tan Ma Ru-Long" or better known in America as "Cat and Mouse" and "Inspector Pink Dragon".
No, I am not shitting you.
Bitch please, "acclaimed action director"? are you quoting his step mom or something? Fuck you, trailer man - im not falling for your bull shit.
Then they list a bunch of names as if we should know who the hell they are. They most likely made some garbage up...except the last guy they list, who is obviously their star: Ray Park. Holy ass clowns, Ray Park?! These mudda fuzzas got Darth Maul up in dis bitch?
Great, so we got Ray Park playing himself in this god forsaken shit fest.
This is beginning to look like "acclaimed action director" Gordon Chode was Ray Parks neighbor who bothered him about making a movie, so they wrote a movie around Ray Park.

But I am getting ahead of myself, lets start from the beginning of the trailer shall we?

"They Live among us, living normal lives until called upon into another dimension..." (shot of a Jawbone Bluetooth Headset)

By a god damn bluetooth headset?! Well fuck me sideways. I better leave work early today and pick up my Jawbone Bluetooth alternate dimension device at Best Buy.

So already, less than 2 seconds into the trailer, im treated like an idiot. Great. OH! queue "Batman Begins" music, so I think this movie is EPIC. yep, you got me fooled. Lets continue...

"Where an eliete group of fighters compete..."

For what? your showing me 2 guys fighting in an abandoned warehouse...You dont need to travel to a different dimension to fight in a abandoned warehouse dude.

"But when a rouge fighter doesnt play by the rules..."

UH OH!! "the rouge fighter" aka Ray Park with a scarf..
Again, Play by the rules? whos implementing these so called rules? that cement pillar in the background, or the hard wood floor?. I donno, maybe its all an honor system.

"His thirst for power threatens to destroy the universe..."

Holy shit! really? the ENTIRE universe?! I can hear cries of hope echoing from the Andromeda galaxy. Cause once Ray Park destroys Ryan Sea-crest and the woman in a G-String, his power shall destroy the infinite void we know as "the universe". Well now im REALLY hooked on this trailer, and its only been 36 seconds.

Wait what? Elite fighters fight with trash bags and aluminum garbage cans?! what kind of dimension is this....

"The fate of the world, will be in their hands..."

Well thank god their hands shoot plasma rays and force fields, shit. and isn't "the fate of the world" an understatement? or do we not care about the rest of the fucking universe?

oh wait....I just saw a flaming sword being thrown....We all good now.

See you at the midnight showing.

Godzilla Haikus

2010-03-08T14:08:00.000-08:00

http://godzillahaiku.tumblr.com/

As a big fan of Godzilla, I couldn't get enough of this website.

this is one of my favorite ones:

I Laughed Hard.

2010-03-04T10:44:00.001-08:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Kids getting kicked in the face. Brilliant.

Spoken like true JEAN-E-YUS-IS

2010-02-23T22:37:00.001-08:00

FotoShop Fry-Day

2010-02-19T09:09:00.000-08:00

Drew and I believe that Kim Jon Ill and Lil Wayne are the same person...
Here are some photos I made to prove this point.

Have a good weekend.

//spm

The Shirt has arrived...

2010-02-04T08:37:00.001-08:00

A fellow friend and co-worker asked me to draw a cute bunny farting, for his band, called "Footstone". They came out awesome!

For someone who draws creepy dead things all the time, Im proud of how god damn cute my bunny is ;)

Its only been an hour since my last post, and it has already been topped.

2010-02-02T13:14:00.001-08:00

Its only February, and this already made my Year.

2010-02-02T11:49:00.000-08:00

I Love my Girlfriend.

2010-01-22T10:17:00.001-08:00

Top 5 new bands I discovered in 2009

2010-01-07T10:54:00.000-08:00

Ah yes. The infamous title "Post-Rock" which is rejected by the masses, set a standard for the genre in the 90's. It seems as if the movement was in its prime at the turn of the century. Why stop now? I don't listen to much Post-Rock, but the few that I listen to is some of the greatest bands in my list of musical genius. So after 2009, Here are top 5 bands I want to keep an eye on:

5. Beirut - I start the list off with a band that isnt instrumental, or even post-rock, rather, heavy in Balkan Folk and indie-rock. It isnt music I can listen to for long periods of time, but they are very talented none the less.

4. From Monument to Masses - Influenced by God Speed You! Black Emperor and DJ Shadow. How do you go wrong with that? Their most recent album which came out at the beginning of 09 was great.

3. French Teen Idol - Roman artist Andrea Di Carlo, is influenced by bands such as M83, God Is An Astronaut, an Sigur Ros. And you can tell. His music is epic melon-collie. I dont know if that makes sense, but I just coined that. He released "El Siete Es La Luz" last June.

2. Animals as Leaders - Instrumental Progressive Metal Band. Seriously, what part of that is bad? I dont know. Their first self titled album came out last year, and it is sweeeet.

1. Caspian - Ah yes. And then there is Caspian. there 2009 album "Tertia" blew me away. Unbelieveable music. the song "Raven" is fantastic. how fitting they named it...Raven.
They are on their way to the top on my favorite bands list, real fast.

If you dont know any of these bands, and like the type of Post-Rock Instrumental music that I do. These are 4 bands you need to get acquainted with, in 2010.

The beginning is the end is the beginning.

//spm

This is where we put the word "twenty" in front of everything, for the rest of our lives.

2010-01-01T13:27:00.000-08:00

When the world went Y2k, I was entering high school. Wasn't old enough to drive. Never had a girlfriend.

today I am 3 years out of college and 2 years into my profession. I am hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. I spend too much money on my car and I am 30 lbs overweight.

Welcome. 2010.

//spm

I present to the world: The Cheesy Chalupa Crunch

2009-12-11T11:42:00.000-08:00

Today was the day, I felt I needed to re-write history. After months of blue prints, schematics and prototypes, I felt that this revolutionary idea could be brought to life.
But what institution would take my project seriously? None other than the Broadway ave. Taco Bell in Minneapolis Minnesota. That is right. I would be lying if I said it was not a challenge to bring this to life, but the team came through in the end.
My journey started by explaining by design to Angelica, the Shift leader who at the time, was operating the main register. Seeing how it was very busy, and I did not want my prototype stolen, I had to be rather quiet about this Top Secret phenomenon that I held in my head. What made things more difficult, was that Angelica did not speak English very well. This was something I had anticipated, seeing how the native language of this art is Spanish. But I was not worried yet - I knew that in the end, we had similar goals in mind, and genius is universal.
After a bit of a muted struggle of explanation, Angelica finally relayed the request to the T-Bell engineers in back. All of it was in Spanish, so I cant be sure what she was saying. Maybe, explaining how brilliant of an idea I had? Maybe, Her doubt in taking on such an enormous project? or maybe explaining to everyone how much of an ass hole she thinks I am. Whatever the case, The workers began working their magic.
Although there were many people in line behind me, everyone seemed to get their order before me. This did not surprise me - because the enormous job I had just put in front of them. This eased my anxiety as well, because I did not want anyone to see the blueprint of my design. And im sure they felt the same way. As I watched Martina go over the design and begin to construct this monolith of greatness - I was disappointed to see that some pivotal design elements were lost in translation. Once Martina came over to me with the completed design, I very quietly explained that, she had done it all wrong - and explained that the shells she was using did not match my design. She knew right away what I was looking for and had the project done in half the time I expected.

So ladies and gentlemen, I present to you on this Friday, December 11, 2009:

The First Cheesy Chalupa Crunch

Nontopie completed...for now.

2009-12-10T09:01:00.000-08:00

So this took me a fairly long time to make. it was something I worked on little by little during the work day. It started out as a pencil sketch, then I decided to draw it on the wacom in high detail, then added some value. and thus, the nontopie was born.

//spm

James Cameron hasnt known quality for 15 years

2009-12-03T10:20:00.000-08:00

Fuck James Cameron and his Papyrus loving Live Action Furn Gully.

Ric Agrees

Ike Agrees

The quote that started the weekend.

2009-11-20T11:59:00.000-08:00

The smell of desperation.

2009-11-18T14:45:00.000-08:00

Hey look everyone! look over here! please! we look like an apple store, but were not! we are a half-assed version.Have questions about our shitty operating system? sorry! were too busy dancing....and well be doing this all day!

jesus christ people. Do yourselves a favor, and go buy a Mac.

I asked for answers. and damnit, I got them

2009-11-17T11:31:00.001-08:00

Bollywood does it again

2009-11-13T07:22:00.000-08:00

You cant help but smile.

2009-11-05T11:04:00.000-08:00

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Rap Music Causes Breast Cancer.

2009-10-26T15:12:00.000-07:00

The title has nothing to do with this awesome video. Its just a great quote I heard at work today.

LUIS from diluvio on Vimeo.

Microsoft Windows Fails again. and again. and agian. and again. and agian. and again. and agian. and again. and agian. and again. and agian.

2009-10-25T22:38:00.001-07:00

siiiigh. damnit.

2009-10-23T10:00:00.000-07:00

so good.

The #1 Internet Video of All Time.

2009-10-21T12:24:00.000-07:00

Breakdancing Cat Flip Accident - Watch more Funny Videos

Thanks Joey.

I believe in you....

2009-10-15T20:04:00.000-07:00

Worst Shopping Run Ever - Watch more Funny Videos

T-Minus: 1 month

2009-10-14T12:52:00.000-07:00

Until Cotto has to deal with this: EPIC

Im going to buy one. and thats final.

2009-10-07T09:59:00.001-07:00

The Best of YouTube in 4 Minutes

2009-10-01T14:43:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of your evangelical burrito. I mean holy taco.

My current top 5 favorite shows? you dont need to ask twice.

2009-09-28T08:58:00.000-07:00

Drama Category

5. True Blood (2008) "Who doesnt love vampires?!"
Just finished up its 2nd season, and seems to be picking up lots of steam. This show could
move up a few spots, if it continues to please.

4. LOST (2004) "Seriously, wtf is going on in this show?"
Yeah. I don't think I need to say more, isn't this on everyone's top 5? if its not, it should be.

3. Dexter (2006) "Cheering on a serial killer"
This show puts me on edge better than any show I have ever seen. But there's only so many times he can get away with it, no? Season 4 will be a true test.

2. Battlestar Galactica (2004) "Social commentary to the Nth degree"
This show unfortunately suffers from typical stereotypes. Its the reason it took me so long to watch it. This is no Sunday afternoon Sci-fi low budget TV show. No sir, its one of the greatest television shows ever to be re/created. If you doubt me, do yourself a favor and watch it.

1. The Sopranos (1999) "Mafia at its finest"
Ah yes. Arguably the greatest show ever made. I agree 100% No other show even comes close. And I doubt any show ever will. End of story. Case closed.

Worst Cooking Show Ever? No sir...No....The Best. Simply. The Best.

2009-09-18T13:30:00.001-07:00

Best Show Ever.

2009-09-14T14:14:00.000-07:00

the sharks get me everytime.

2009-08-26T07:47:00.001-07:00

Hey Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan - watch more funny videos

something amazing to ponder

2009-08-07T07:54:00.000-07:00

So THATS how he got so rich.....you dirty little duck.

2009-08-06T13:30:00.000-07:00

Joey Hollywood always brings the heat.

Judge me all you want, but this is gonna be the greatest movie of all time.

2009-08-06T08:33:00.000-07:00

Ninjas + Volkswagen = SPM wet dream.

Go watch the trailer at the Ninja Assassin site, or at Apple, because i cant bring myself to post a lo-res version of this beautiful masterpiece.

//spm

Why Must I Cry?

2009-08-03T10:58:00.000-07:00

Its one of those times I try not to be too judgemental, because im not sure if this guy is simple or not....thank you joey hollywood.

Cars and Cafe

2009-08-03T07:41:00.000-07:00

Steven Spielberg on Animators

2009-07-30T20:25:00.000-07:00

Well said Steve...I agree completely.

//spm

Its rare that i fill one of these stupid things out...but i couldnt resist.

2009-07-29T20:53:00.000-07:00

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Try not to repeat a song title. It's harder than you think but it's a fun way to waste a few minutes and get the brain cells moving around.

Your Artist: Red Hot Chili Peppers

Are you male or female: Jungle Man

Describe yourself: Nobody Weird Like Me

How do you feel about yourself: Freaky Styley

Describe where you currently live: Parallel Universe

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Behind the Sun

Your favorite form of transportation: Aeroplane

Your best friend: Magic Johnson

Your dream boy/girl: Sexy Mexican Maid

Your life motto: Fight Like a Brave

If your life were a TV show, what would it be called: Sir Psycho Sexy

What is life to you?: Search and Destroy

What is the best advice you have to give: Catholic School Girls Rule

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?: Yertle the Turtle

Your favorite food is: I Like Dirt

How you would like to die: Lovin' and Touchin'

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Well, that was fun....if you decide to do this, let me know - I wanna see what you come up with!

Till next time,

//spm

Dear God: You have gone too far.

2009-06-29T07:25:00.000-07:00

David Carradine died because of his own stupidity. One of the best way to tarnish your status as a legend and martial arts icon is to die of autoerotic asphyxiation. The loss of Bill is sad, but ultimately brought on by his own doing.

Ed Mcmahon lived a full life. At the ripe age of 82, it was finally time to say goodbye to another legend. This came as little surprise.

Farrah Fawcett was fighting cancer for a while, and yet she died so young. When you are battling against cancer - its not a matter of if, but when. There was no surprise here.

Michael Jackson - wtf? holy crap - this is starting to really suck. This is not just another legend. this is THE legend. the one who I looked up to as a kid. The one who taught me the moonwalk. The one who taught me to grab my crotch and scream. The life of Michael Jackson turned out to be a sad one in the end - but his music is so iconic, so timeless, that not even the worst offenses have taken him off his throne as King. Its sad, but Michael was no longer making music, he was sick and fraile, and the only time that we heard his name was for weird public stunts or child molestation charges. Now that hes dead, we only hear about his music, and thats how I like it. Because thats how he should be remembered. So sadly, in death - it may have been the best thing to happen to Michaels legacy. But only time will tell.

Where am I going with all this you might ask? Well if youve followed this entry this long, you have finally gotten to the point of this rant. All of the people above were legends in thier own right, and died by either natural causes or pure destiny. God had a plan for all these people. God had a plan until Sunday, when God fell asleep at the wheel.
This is my question:

WHAT DID BILLY MAYS DO TO DESERVE THIS?!

Yes thats right. Im pissed.
David - for shame
Ed and Farrah - it was your time
Michael - your music will live forever
BILLY?!?!?!?!!

Why God? did you think I wasnt up at 4am on a Tuesday trying to decide between Oxi Clean and Mighty Putty?! Billy was the one that fixed that July 4th vomit stain on my carpet. Billy put that new handle on my favorite coffee mug. He gave me that Hercules Hook so i could hang a 400lb deer carcas in my living room. Dont even get me started on Kaboom, or even the Steam Buddy.

How dare you take this man from us, God. He was at his peak, and you killed him in the most asinine way possible. Seriously - your gonna take out a "As Seen on TV" legend with...luggage?
Fuck that. Billy deserved better.
and after weeks of dying legends, I have finally had enough.

Taking Billy was immature and irresponsible. God, Youve gone too far.

Well endowed octopus.

2009-06-05T11:30:00.000-07:00

I drew an Octopus last night, while watching Conan O'Brien.....God I love Conan.

Das Auto....Bitches.

2009-05-31T15:59:00.001-07:00

Work In Progress: WALTAR

2009-05-18T13:17:00.000-07:00

Well, this is my second attempt at a Wacom digital illustration. Im satisfied so far.
Heres my rendition of Waltar from the international phenomenon: PRRTY FOOD by Joseph Gillette. Its not quite done yet, But Im pretty much done with his head. Im thinkin' something super surrealistic for the rest of it. its 300 DPI, so you cant quite get close enough to see the fine details i put in him, but whatevs. Joe posted my first rendition portrait on his blog, so make sure to follow the party with the fooood.

//spm

YOUR NEXT, MAYWEATHER JR.

2009-05-04T08:31:00.000-07:00

Be Afraid......Be very afraid..

Pacquiao: KO in the 2nd round

2009-05-03T00:13:00.001-07:00

Nuff said.

Best pound for pound fighter in the world.

//spm

My fan gear has arrived.

2009-05-01T07:54:00.000-07:00

YES. My Manny Pacquiao T-shirt has arrived just in time for the fight tommorow! They had black and white, red and white...and then black and gold. Ah, yes, I think I will go with the gold thank you. Everything is going according to plan. The only thing left is for Pacquiao to dominate!

Swine Flu: What a poser.

2009-04-30T11:28:00.001-07:00

Why is everyone all worked up over this damn "swine" flu?
The common Flu kills 3,000 people every year. Yet all I see on television is how to fight the swine flu. I need to perfect this zombie virus, and show the world what a real pandemic is. Then ABC wont have time to make 2 hour specials on how to fight this "dangerous pandemic". Remember bird flu? SARS?. If you ask me, the world is filled with a bunch of little bitchs.

Zombie Virus. Now thats the real shit.

//spm

Yes: There is a God. and Yes: He answered my prayer.

2009-04-27T20:26:00.000-07:00

If you dont consider youself a Dork of the highest level, you wont care about THIS

Hallelujah.

//spm

Saturday. Its goin' down, bitches.

2009-04-26T19:29:00.001-07:00

I no longer believe in dinosaurs.

2009-04-22T08:23:00.000-07:00

New Website

2009-04-20T07:57:00.000-07:00

I found this sweet new website, maybe youve heard of it.

http://www.seanmonahan.com

I have yet to get my demo reel up, and I need to update the illustrations, but for the most pary, its all there!

<3 spm

I bet it was Chipotle....

2009-04-16T09:51:00.001-07:00

Drew topped Dchao

2009-03-31T16:11:00.001-07:00

So I assumed Dchao couldn't be topped. But when you put out such challenges, its Drew Weigel that answers. And he answers with a shrill that can be heard for miles.

Moose is racist.

2009-03-30T07:51:00.001-07:00

Dchao's rendition of Epic.

2009-03-24T12:45:00.000-07:00

Yes. That is me. driving my black beast and wearing my panda warrior suit. After burning down entire villages, I celebrate with a frosty Cherry Dr. Pepper apparently. I would love for people to draw their own rendition of this masterpiece. I know I want to. Just know, you may not be able to top this epic portrait.

Now ride into the sunset young stallion, you have much to conquer.

// spm

The Rocket Man Next Door

2009-03-24T09:18:00.000-07:00

So I was walking through my hallway to my apt. and i hear one of my neighbors playing his grand piano. But today was particularly special. Because he was singing. And what was he playing?
Elton John's "Rocket Man" Oh yes friends. it was pretty awesome. Not bad at all. I stood there for a minute, just swaying to the groove, humming "oh no no no...im a rocket maaan.." I went in to take a shower, and realized i was still singing that god damn song. I wonder, Was my neighbor sad? mourning? celebrating life?. who knows, but I support such actions non the less.

So keep on playin' that jam 504, you truly are.....A Rocket Man.

Before the hand strikes twelve

2009-03-22T21:28:00.000-07:00

Well today,
I tried Cherry Dr. Pepper today. Its brand new.
I still like Dr. Pepper better.
Winter is pretty much over. So I guess I can finally come out of my cave. I'm going to buy a bike.
Killzone 2 continues to destroy any productivity I obtain. Ive been drinking too much and eating too much fast food on the weekends. That should probably be brought down to moderation.
I have a new found hate for wind, now that my hair is long and flowy.
I miss Conan O'Brien, I cant wait for him to come back. Im very lazy lately, I should be painting and building lots of things, yet they sit around in boxes and containers. I have yet to put up a single poster on my walls. I have lived in this loft for almost 9 months.
Netflix is pretty awesome. LOST is pretty awesome, although I hate Kate.
Obama has been in office for a couple months, and hes still awesome. Sushi will eventually give me mercury poisoning. all the more reason to move to Japan.

The hand hit twelve 3 minutes ago.

// spm

Best Acceptance speech ever: Kunio Kato

2009-02-23T14:59:00.000-08:00

For Best Animated Short:

So heavy.
Sank you berry much.
Sank you my suppota.
Sank you all my stuff.
Sank you my pencil.
Sank you academy.
Sank you animation.
Sank you my company robot.
Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto.

If I ever have to give an acceptance speech, I will repeat this exactly.

// spm

My life has come full circle: In the form of a Hadoken

2009-02-18T11:33:00.000-08:00

The year was 1991. A six year old whippersnapper whos Fun Factory tokens were burning a hole in his pockets the size of grapefruits. He walked up and down the arcade isle, looking for that perfect game. He eventually found it. It was called "Street Fighter II". His life would never be the same after that. That gleaming young soul was me. Thrust into the galaxy of fighting games along with the rest of 90's society. Soon came the release of "Street Fighter II" on the Super Nintendo. I was there for that. Then I jumped for joy when my mother once again fed my addiction with the release of "Super Street Fighter II Turbo". But with the end of my Hawaiian era, soon ended the Street Fighter era. And not just for me. For the world. many branches of Street Fighter games soon followed, but no real sequel. I tried to hold on, with purchases like "Street Fighter EX plus Alpha" and was heavily disappointed. "Street Fighter III" was a step in the right direction, but still lacked anything authentic.
Then, 2007 rolled around. The announcement of "Street Fighter IV". This was it. This is what I have been waiting for. almost 2 years I have waited. wishing, dreaming, reading, researching, obsessing...and today, almost 20 years later.....

I am 6 years old once again.

//spm

I gave in to technology once again.

2009-02-11T11:56:00.001-08:00

I have refused to draw with a wacom tablet for sometime. The seperation between pencil and paper didnt feel right. But for career purposes, I thought I would give it a shot. And to my surprise, its not half bad when you get used to it. Im still not sure if im happy about how comfortable I am feeling with this...I can feel pen and paper slipping away, and it is only then - will my soul be completely sold to the devil.

Here was my first drawing with my Wacom...titled: "Baby Hands are Deadly"

//spm

This was inspired by my father

2009-02-10T08:21:00.000-08:00

Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work

My dedication to Christian Bale

2009-02-04T15:06:00.001-08:00

This is a lil animation I made...this site is GREAT.

My top 10 videogame consoles...even though no one asked

2009-02-02T14:05:00.000-08:00

10. Nintendo Wii
I know this system hasn't been around for very long, but it makes the list for its innovation. The Nintendo Wii is in a league of its own. No other system can captivate such a broad audience like the Wii. From preschool to retirement homes, The Wii has done something that no other system has done. But this is also part of its downfall. A good amount of people who are into the gaming industry, are hardcore gamers. The Wii loses its lasting appeal because of this. Alot of games are shallow, and lack the challenge that gamers demand. And when it comes down to it, sometimes you just want to sit down and relax, and enjoy a video game, rather then stand and swing around a controller - only to have it bust a hole in your brand new HDTV.

9. Sega Dreamcast
Although Sega failed over and over (Sega CD, 32x etc.) it definitely left the console industry with an elegant bang. It helped pave the way for what video games are today, with online gaming capabilities and a controller that is more comfortable and ergonomic than anything Xbox offers.

8. Nintendo 64
Along with the Dreamcast, this is not a system that I owned. But the N64 was part of the greatest console battle in history. Nintendo vs Sony. In the beginning, Sony approached Nintendo to create disc-based games, and when Nintendo refused - they paid dearly. Sony eventually won the battle, but the N64's strengths are plenty. The refusal of disc-based games is a big reason N64 was a strong competitor. With no load times, and a long list of fantastic games such as Golden Eye, Mario, and Starfox - this kept Sony on its toes for a very long time. It also featured a joystick, which was a feature that every kid wanted to experience at the time. This was also the downfall: making the ergonomics half-retarded. Lucky for Nintendo - games at the time didn't always need the joystick and the D-pad.

7. Sony Playstation 3
The Playstation 3 has all the elements to become one of the greatest consoles of all time. And in the long run, it very well might be. But in current times it suffers many blows that puts it close to the edge of life and death. A big problem is the price. It is an expensive piece of hardware that many are not willing to spend...especially in a recession. There is the Xbox 360 - with graphics that are in the same ball park, half the price and a ton more games. And the Wii - which gathers a broad audience, with family oriented games and eye candy innovation. But the Playstation 3 has many tricks under its sleeve. Many do not give the PS3 enough credit for having a Blu-Ray player, not to mention the best player on the market. Unlike Xbox live, the Playstation Network is Free. The controller hasnt changed with the "If it aint broke, dont fix it" appraoch. The PS3 isnt just a gaming system like the Wii and Xbox. It is a Media Hub.

6. Nintendo Gameboy
Oh, did you not have a Gameboy? you missed out. This was the birth of portable gaming. An industry that continues to thrive, and Nintendo is still on top. Games like Tetris and Mario, car rides to the grocery store with mom was stress free for both parties. The introduction of colored screens and better graphics like Sega Game Gear did not damage the Gameboy image because of one big factor. Batteries. How often did you have to change batteries on your Gameboy? not as often as you have to charge your cell phone. Game Gear lost the battle due to horrible battery life as well as the lack of great games and consistent upgrades. Gameboy brought along Color and it was all over from there.

5. Sega Genesis
The golden age of Sega. Sega offered what Nintendo refused to: Blood. Sega refused to censor their games, and in exchange made kids feel like they were doing something they weren't supposed to. High energy classics like Sonic the Hedgehog kept Mario and Luigi second guessing themselves. Altered Beast, Golden Axe, Shinobi are just some of the games that people still enjoy to this day. The Genesis also had a great controller. The Genesis died a painful death, with Add-ons like Sega CD, which did nothing for the system except steal money and tarnish reputation. But it still holds a special place in our hearts.

4. Sony Playstation 2
Ah the mighty PS2. I don't have a single bad memory of it. My Ps2 was a first generation, and still works today. That is right. DVD player and all. This is why the PS2 is the greatest selling console of all time. It still sells today, 14 years after its debut. Sony introduced the dual shock controller with joysticks that fit perfectly onto the already perfect controller. Its like they always belonged there. The great games are never ending. In the console war between PS2 and the discontinued Xbox, Sony comes out on top once again.

3. Nintendo Entertainment System
Hmm, do I need to say much? its THE Nintendo. You can say Atari started it all, but in my humble opinion, it was this magical machine. Endless titles and timeless gameplay. We all know how awesome NES is. When you go to someones house and see an NES, no other system causes a bigger celebration.

2. Super Nintendo
I have such fond memories of this one. Playing Super Mario World was some of the greatest video gaming moments ever. There are very few sequels that beat its predecessor: Empire Strikes Back, Aliens, Terminator 2 and the Super Nintendo. And just when you think the system is dying off, Nintendo releases Donkey Kong Country. A game that still looks fantastic today and boggles my mind that it is 16-bit. It also has one of the best controllers ever created.

1. Sony Playstation
The system that defined what video game consoles would ultimately be. The N64 was a formidable opponent, but could not keep the level of gaming production that Sony offered. The PS1 was the beginning of adult-based video games. Twisted Metal, Grand Theft Auto, Tenchu, Devil May Cry, Resident Evil and the greatest game ever made: Metal Gear Solid. It created the best controller to date and was a console that demonstrated sophistication and longevity. Sure, the load times were a drag, and the N64 was more party friendly with 4 controller ports. But with an aging audience, kids were no longer looking for Banjoo Kazooie, or cute little toad stool. They wanted more. And Sony was there to offer it. N64 had Golden Eye, but that was about it in terms of a more mature game that was succesful on the platform. To Nintendos credit, it has stayed true to its colors. It has not been swayed by the aging market, and the demand for mature games. Both the Gamecube and the Wii have always been geared at people of all ages/fun for the whole family. And we love Nintendo for that. They were the beginning for us. But as we got older, we wanted more. And Sony delivered.

This....is so good.

2009-01-27T08:44:00.001-08:00

It's coming...

2009-01-22T14:40:00.001-08:00

Click on me to watch ReBIRTH (2007)

Dear Shithead Fairy. I want to punch you.

2009-01-19T07:36:00.000-08:00

Sincerely,

//spm

I was sick of Star Wars...until now.

2009-01-15T10:32:00.001-08:00

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

David lied to me.

2009-01-06T14:42:00.000-08:00

So if you were ever wondering what my favorite website of all time is, it is THIS one.
I have it bookmarked as "Best Site Ever" as you will soon understand.
What I find most interesting, is the "last updated" date at the bottom. I came across this website one day (god only knows what hierarchy got me there) and could not believe when the site was made. It was created not soon after the friggin' internet was invented. And out of all things to dedicate a website to, this chode fancy's Claussen pickles. Not only does David have an unhealthy obsession with Claussen pickles, he goes into moderate detail of why other pickles do not meet his kosher standard. The short answer? Brine. This mother fucker LOVES brine. Go on, check out the Brine page. He loves the shit. And I cant even comment on how awesome his MS Paint skills are. Today, I was inclined to send David: the pickle boy an email, inquiring about why he hasnt updated his website - even though the main page specifically says he would update regularly...

Where ever you are David: Update your Pickle Page.

// spm

We will have coconut creme pie.....someday.

2009-01-05T13:11:00.000-08:00

Yeah man...fuck those coconuts up. You can do it. I believe in you. I mean, your wearing a black belt and jeans. You should be taken seriously...

This looks awesome!!!

2008-12-30T09:25:00.001-08:00

Silence is Golden

2008-12-27T16:17:00.000-08:00

Im surprised this doesn't happen more often. This guy could have a full-time job at Block-E Crown theaters in Minneapolis.

Weigel Workplace Experience

2008-12-22T12:49:00.001-08:00

Lil' John went all Nick Jr. on my ass!! EEEEYYEEEAAAHH!

2008-12-20T15:16:00.001-08:00

I knew they would get me somehow...

2008-12-15T17:11:00.000-08:00

I always liked you more than marilyn.

2008-12-13T00:02:00.000-08:00

Bettie Page
April 23 1923 - December 11 2008

Dragonball Evolution: The evolution of horse shit

2008-12-10T11:43:00.001-08:00

Diana Chao: MCAD Poster Child

2008-12-08T16:46:00.001-08:00

Ok seriously.

This evening i went down to my mailbox to find out how many bills I have to pay today. I, however, did not expect to find my little Chinese counter-part infesting my building with her hands out for MCAD, asking for money.It was equiped with a "save the children"-like photo...you know what i mean, like "for only 10 cents a month, you can help this starving artist shave 2 months off of her 45 year student loan payments". On the back of the photo there was a heart-warming interview with the little animator. And to top it off, it had a "personal" letter from the president himself telling me how hard working Diana is, and that I should give them more money, so that they can continue to screw people like Diana over. Im sorry MCAD, you took all my money. You take lots of it from me every month. You are the bane of my existance. As for MCHAO, the MCAD mascot - I am very disappointed in you, young lady. You know damn well how awful the animators are treated, and now you are their bitch. This better be an intricate plot to destroy the school from the inside. If not, you should be ashamed.

P.S. Your picture is now hanging on my wall.....you are so asian <3

//spm

Haikus for you, my long lost friend

2008-12-08T09:53:00.000-08:00

Its been many months
you promised you would be back
but you are still gone

Where have you gone joe?
Was BSG not enough?
new season, come back!

The glitz and glamor
Have finally shadowed me
So I must find you....

My life is complete...Yes, this man is serious.

2008-12-08T09:34:00.001-08:00

Pacquiao is my hero

2008-12-06T23:26:00.000-08:00

Manny "Pac-Man" Pacquiao just DESTROYED Oscar DeLa Hoya.
The national fist of the Philippines is #1. And I am proud.

I agree.

2008-12-04T11:51:00.001-08:00

Ah ma gahhh! Mr. winkle I love uuu!!!

2008-12-02T17:04:00.000-08:00

Philli showdown

2008-11-28T20:01:00.000-08:00

So, like every year - I went to Philadelphia for thanksgiving. And I did the infamous Cheese Steak Showdown. The 2 places known for the Best Cheese Steaks in the world: Geno's and Pat's

My first sangwhich was Pat's: Whiz Wit' (Phili cheesesteak with cheezewhiz and onions)
Verdict: Bread was a little hard, and the meat was chopped up into small bits. The CheeseWhiz was amazing.

After I was done eating that, I walked across the street and got a Geno's Whiz Wit'
Verdict: The bread was muuch better, and the meat was sliced, so it held much more flavor. However the CheezeWhiz was seriously lacking in taste.

Geno's would seem like the clear winner, yet Pat's cheese leaves me craving another....

I will always love you...you will be missed.

2008-11-17T12:11:00.001-08:00

Macgyver could build the earth in 3 days using toothpicks and cabbage

2008-11-17T10:03:00.001-08:00

List of problems solved my Macgyver

Im trapped in a genjustu

2008-11-13T09:13:00.001-08:00

omg lolcat! you are like, sooo dumb!

2008-11-06T11:49:00.000-08:00

Jimmy cracked corn, and popped a testicle.

2008-11-05T12:28:00.001-08:00

Please frightened child, I am trying to understand Jimmy Dean....

GEEZ...anyway....

What is the deal with this pancake sausage freakshow? I know these have been out for a long time, but they never cease to amaze me.
If your feelin pseudo-iron chef, you can even get blueberries up in this bitch.
I have so many questions, and god damnit I want answers. Soon I will be too lazy to even use a microwave, so what are you gonna do then Jimmy dean? huh? Why dont u just send me some pancake sausage sepositories, so I can be on my way.

2008-11-04T20:29:00.000-08:00

Halloween

2008-10-31T12:12:00.000-07:00

Ok, so in honor of Halloween, here is something that is truly horrifying. mainly because...its real.
Ladies and Gentelmen: The Human Bot Fly.
You are saying to youself "Flies? they arent that scary..."
Well how about this...
These flies lay their eggs on mosquitos, horseflies, mainly anything that will land on a human.
The eggs then are brushed off on the human skin. The warmth of the human skin causes these eggs to hatch, and then burrow into the skin and begin to feed on you.
"Gross!" right?! heres the horrifying part....
These eggs can end up anywhere and feed on any part of you....OOOH yes.....thats right children...even your brains.

Happy Halloween.

// spm

They dont make trailers like they used to.

2008-10-30T09:30:00.000-07:00

BK Broiler Adventure '08

2008-10-28T07:35:00.000-07:00

So Luke and I were at the Burger King on Nicolette on Sunday. Luke had decided on his meal before me, and went up to order. during this time, a thin hooded man with a jean jacket walked in with his 4 year old son and stepped ahead of me in line. Because I was undecided, I let them order. I was not prepared for what was about to happen. I stood there for 15 minutes - laughing uncontrollably at the ridiculous questions this man was asking. "That Mushroom n'
Swiss....how much for just the burger?....is that a pretty big burger?" meanwhile, the ADD child is screaming "I want a hambuger!!! I want HAMBURGER". I continued to laugh as this man and child order - then complains about the prices. By the time the G.E.D. drop outs could figure out my double cheeseburger meal, Luke was already done eating his meal.
I sat down and began to eat my meal, and what do I see? A baby left alone at a table.
Was it alive? I dont know... Was it dead? maybe. But as me and Luke sat in the BK Lounge, the babys foot never moved, nor did anyone ever come by to pick up the baby.
I finished my burger and fries and we left.

If anyone is missing a dead baby, you can retrieve it at: 3342 Nicollet Ave Minneapolis, MN
It is most likely where we last saw it.

// spm

A video that could very well give Tom O'Ryan a heart attack

2008-10-27T14:49:00.000-07:00

booty shorts monday

2008-10-27T13:34:00.000-07:00

So you wanna bring the 80's back?

2008-10-21T11:31:00.000-07:00

Good, cause thats where they made me at.

and my current shoes have blood all over them.

2008-10-16T14:44:00.000-07:00

Obatman

2008-10-16T13:52:00.000-07:00

OBAtMAn

Cows go Moo when they Poo

2008-10-15T07:57:00.000-07:00

I speak for Koalas around the world.

2008-10-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

I made this because I assume all things cute and cuddly are voting for Obama.
I know I shouldn't assume the opinions of all Koalas. But I just cant see Koalas voting for McCain.
Plus they cant vote anyways. They aren't American citizens.

M. Night's "The Happening" wins Doom Award for under achievement

2008-10-13T07:10:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I finally watched this movie - even though it is well known how much I hate M. Night Sham-my-ass...But I thought I would give "The Happening" a run through...After watching it, this is was instantly came to mind...

Mr. Shyamalan, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

You dont even deserve the embarrassing 18% that you have scored on Rotten Tomatoes.
This is your second warning M. Nuts: Do not ruin Avatar, or I will find you....
Congrats on winning this prestigious award

What is the Doom Medal of under achievement?

// spm

A classic that will never die....

2008-10-10T12:39:00.000-07:00